Big Hand Dave

We had a great practice last night. We got through an amazing amount of material and had a lot of fun doing it. There was, however, the matter of mysterious corn juice on the counter. I’m not sure I would ask if I were you. And just so you know, in case it ever comes up - Dave has a can opener that could be used as a weapon. I also have to say that nighttime at the lake in the Spring is fabulous. I love the sound of those frogs down by the water.

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We warmed up with “Smokin’ in the Boys Room” and Dave got his triplets right. We also got the ending nailed down. Then we played “Tainted Love” (the beer song) and Dave’s freaky drums showed up.

Then we played “Staying Kind.” I really love that guitar lick. We turned it up a notch on that one. “Green Onions” was next, where it was decided that this was the song where I have to get everyone a drink, it being an instrumental. I instrumentally employed my egg shaker. There then followed a discussion about the speakers in PJ’s car and NPR on satellite versus the local station. It was agreed that, aside from Bob Edwards on XM, the local station was the best. Yep, it’s a little shout out for WFAE 90.7 (http://www.wfae.org/wfae/index.cfm) to show ‘em some love.

Next we played “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” and I think the guys are resigned to the fact that I’m going to hijack that song every time now with “Johnny B. Goode.” We then played “Can’t Find My Way Home.” We played it a little bit differently and we had it until the ending where we had a rough landing. The second time through, however, we worked the bugs out and got it right.

We played “On The Dark Side” where I accidentally blew through another solo. I’m gonna’ get a whack to the head one of these days for that. Nice drums on that one, I must say. We tried “Closing Time” which we hadn’t played for what seemed like years. We need to work on that one a bit. Then it was time for some “Black Betty.” Timing is everything in that song.

We then discussed when we might get to play at McHale’s. Hopefully it will be soon, and I was charged with finding out the time slot. We proceeded with “Dancing In The Moonlight” and changed the chorus to reflect three-part harmony, which works out pretty well. We also did “Drift Away” and the vocals rocked. Wes on lead and me on backup is a good combo for that one. We could also turn it into a set extender, if we needed to.

Then it was time for “867-5309/Jenny” and it was perfect. We started to play “Good Lovin’” but some scary chords happened and somehow it triggered a spontaneous jam session. Once we got that out of our system, we played “Gimme Some Lovin’” and it was great! I would like to say that Rodney keeps us in line on a lot of songs with his big pumping bass, and that is certainly one of them.

Next we played “Real Wild Child” and it sounded real good. That’s one of my favorite guitar songs. It has room for about eight solos. We followed that with “Help Me Make It Through The Night” and it was sweet. “Lump” was next and we always do that one well. “All Right Now” came next and we did that one quite nicely also. We closed out the night with “Secret Agent Man” which we have turned into one of my favorite guitar songs. We really had a great practice.

At the end of the evening Dave borrowed my hymnal, chock full of all our songs, lyrics, and charts. He’s going to make a copy of it for himself. I am full of trepidation but hope for it’s safe return. Should the unthinkable happen, like corn juice getting spilled on it or it getting dropped in dog shit, Rodney, the official Big Hand Dave archivist, assures me that he has all the materials saved digitally.

The quotes were flying fast and hard. WARNING: Many of them are inside jokes or innuendo about such inside jokes. You may have to make up your own storyline, which is highly encouraged.

“You’re trying to replace all of us, aren’t you?” ~Dave

“We need a real website for that!” ~Rodney

“I’m a little afraid to come in. All I heard was a lot of anger and something about Kenny G.” ~Dave

“You don’t want Kenny G and John Tesh in the same room. That’ll kill a party.” ~JD

“Cat fight!” ~PJ

“Well, I’d kinda’ like to touch it first.” ~JD

“I know so much more now.” ~Dave

“Yeah, there’s a lot of fuckin’ around goin’ on in there.” ~PJ

“It’s called Wordless Wonder.” ~Rodney

“It’s kinda’ like Chinese take-out.” ~JD

“Assholes. I hate all of ya’ll.” ~Dave

“I know it’s in there somewhere.” ~Rodney

“Chemistry, Baby!” ~JD

“Get your fuckin’ computer program to do that!” ~Dave

“I’ll have a Cinnabon Mocha Latte.” ~Rodney

“Hey, you want a handful of ice?” ~PJ

“I didn’t get right after that.” ~Rodney

“Did JD pick that crap?” ~PJ

“Ya’ll were just too busy listening to yourselves.” ~Rodney

“I don’t mean to hold back so much, but I’m a sensitive guy,” ~Wes

“You were in an opium den. They’re all over Ballentine.” ~PJ

“So I cut down my egg intake.” ~Wes

“That was funny as hell, to me.” ~Rodney

“Somebody’s got to! I can’t!” ~Wes

“Did you step in dog shit while you were out there?” ~Rodney

“Sometimes my cigarettes smell like dog shit.” ~Wes

“Obviously you boys ain’t from the country. There’s shit out there!” ~Dave

“He who lives longest laughs last.” ~Wes

“Ancient Chinese proverb.” ~PJ

“It’s noodle-icious!” ~Wes

“But if you’ve got a dead hooker by the leg and the hotel room’s on fire, you’re in a world of hurt.” ~JD

“We are one sheet of acid away from being superstars in the 60s.” ~Wes

“That was prime time for us to have a conversation.” ~Rodney

“I’m excited about talking about Nanny’s Mountain.” ~Dave

“When Dave can tell you it’s out of tune, you better check.” ~Wes

“I wanna’ start throwing shit around during that song!” ~JD

“That’s why they call him ‘Pump’!” ~Wes

“I’m reveling in the moment.” ~Dave

“We were just trying to get some sand for our ashtray bucket.” ~Wes

“You need to mind your own damn bizness!” ~Dave

“That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life! Too bad I can’t put it in the newsletter.” ~JD

“That’s probably the sound of me dropping my drumsticks.” ~Dave

“I still smell dog shit!” ~Rodney

We have an unprecedented four-way tie for the best comment of the night.

“I’m not a corn hog.” ~Dave

“It’s Dave-ja-vu!” ~JD

“I know we weren’t anywhere near it at the end and I was way off at the beginning, but is that about right?” ~Rodney

“Don’t we have a squeaky toy around here somewhere that we could step on to use instead of a singer?” ~PJ